Pairing: Gen, pre-Danno/Steve
Rating: TV-PG (L)
Summary: Catherine vs. Rachel, and the ways you can – and can't -- hold on to the people you love.
Thanks to ymfaery for the beta.
Authors' Notes: Canon-compliant up to: after Po'ipu, but before 1x12.
Raine notes: Apparently, I feed other people plot bunnies when I send them songs I like. Who knew?
Sam notes: She says that like she didn’t know what would happen. Payback is dragging her along for the ride. Also, it’s not Rachel-whacking, but it really does not portray her motivations as happy and shiny. Honest, maybe, but not happy and shiny.
Outrunning the Blame
By Sam Johnsson and Raine Wynd
“the name of the game is outrunning the blame
so i hate you and love you we're friends” – Charlotte Martin, The Dance
DeVine Wine & Coffee wouldn't win awards for its mix of IKEA-esque furniture interspersed with garage sale finds, and the walls were covered with an equally random showcase of local amateur photographers' works, but overall, the clutter conspired to create a welcoming, casual feel. The smell of freshly roasted coffee permeated the air and the sound of espresso brewing punctuated by corks being pulled mingled with the conversation humming throughout the combination wine bar and coffeehouse. The Bordeaux blend Rachel ordered was surprisingly complex, a complement to the savory walnut scone. Though a large space, the place was about three quarters full, forcing her to choose between a seat near the door or ask someone to share a table.
She opted for the woman at a table for two near the longest window, against the wall not taken largely up by the service counter. Her long dark brown hair had been neatly braided back, and she wore a navy T-shirt, jeans, and polished black flats. The woman had a cell phone and a glass of red wine on the table, and was reading a novel whose title and author was one Rachel didn't recognize.
"Mind if I share your table?" Rachel asked.
The other woman looked up, revealing a classic, oval face, brown eyes, a straight nose, and a mouth that was quick to smile. "Not at all. Looks like I've been stood up again."
"His loss. Rachel." She held her hand out toward the seated lady, who took it and shook firmly.
"Catherine. Don’t mind the décor – this place really a hidden diamond. Just avoid Thursday nights. They have an open mic and there’s several local poets trying to bring back the beatnik movement.” She moved her cell phone to a purse and motioned to the chair. “Please, sit. What brings you out?”
Rachel shrugged slightly as she settled into the hard-backed chair. “It was quiet at the house. My husband is out of town and my daughter is with her father this weekend. I saw a review for this place and thought I’d come explore.”
“As good a reason as any.” Catherine studied her a moment before saying, “So if I may ask, you don’t sound as if you’ve been here long. What brings you to the islands?”
Abruptly, Rachel realized she'd just told a perfect stranger nobody was home. She could almost hear Danny's voice chiding her about security, about how much she shared with others. She'd called it being friendly; he'd disagreed. Studying her table companion, she decided Catherine didn't look like a thief. Rachel trusted her gut instincts; they had generally not been wrong for the short-term assessment.
"My husband is from here," Rachel offered with a smile. "I've been in the States for ten years, but I was just on the phone to my mother in Manchester this morning. My accent tends to get a bit thicker."
Catherine chuckled. "I grew up in Manhattan; when I used to call home, I'd wind up doing the same thing."
"Oh, I used to work in Manhattan, when I first came to the States," Rachel said. "The economic consulting firm I worked for in London had an office there. We had an office on the south face of 1 World Trade Center – amazing views. We relocated to New Jersey, after. Did you ever go there?"
Catherine shook her head. "I haven't been back there in years. I went into the Navy, and the last few years have been a little crazy."
“Ah. What do you do, if I may ask?”
“Communications and Linguistics. Really, just sitting in front of a computer all day long listening to ship transmissions.”
“Interesting. By chance, are you familiar with a Commander McGarrett?”
Catherine’s fell from its gentle smile to an annoyed frown. “Yes, I do know him. In fact, I was supposed to be meeting his sister to talk about him. He’s been avoiding me lately, not even calling me back. I wanted to know why.”
Rachel studied the other woman’s face. Even though this time, it would catch McGarrett and this lovely young lady in the splash, she considered taking this opportunity to annoy Danny – It wasn’t that she wanted Danny to suffer, but that she wanted him to keep remembering all that he walked away from. Rachel knew she should feel bad about the lie she was about to spin, but jealousy forced her to reach out and lightly touch Catherine’s hand. “I’m not sure how to say this. You’ve met his partner, Detective Williams?”
Catherine nodded slowly, looking wary and unsure as to why her knowing Danny was relevant.
“Daniel is my ex-husband, so we,” she paused, hunting for a diplomatic word, “interact frequently. Knowing his tells as well as I do, I am almost certain he is in a relationship with Steve that is much closer in nature than I’ve ever seen between him and a cop partner before.”
“Yeah, but Steve does that. He locks you away with that blank and polite façade, unless he decides he trusts you. Then he infiltrates your defenses, just moves in to your life.”
“I’ve met him – that sounds very much like him. But no. Catherine, I think…no. I know they’re partners. At least sexually. Probably romantically. I’m sorry you’re finding it out this way.” There. She had been playing with the idea for a while of implying that Danny was in an inappropriate work relationship, but she had never had such a perfect opportunity to implement it. While it wouldn’t get Danny fired or anything, the fact that people would be whispering about his social life would drive him nuts.
Catherine stared at her. All warmth in her face vanished, and she sat up in her chair a little straighter. "I don't think so."
Rachel eyed her sympathetically. "I know, you don't have any reason to trust me, do you? But they were in my house for almost two days, conducting surveillance on my next-door neighbor." Pausing, Rachel thought over what she'd seen. "They had an entire master bedroom to themselves, and yet they never were more than a few feet away from each other. I can't remember the last time I saw Danny look like he did then."
"You're wrong. Steve is not like that. We’ve… I would’ve known. "
“Are you certain? Steve is trained at deception, isn’t he?”
“Short term ops, yes. But a long-term cover identity? He wasn’t… I don’t know.” Doubt crept into Catherine's voice. "But Mary would know, and if she didn't want to get in the middle... that’s why she stood me up."
“I will be honest. I don’t know Steve, other than from a few phone conversations and observing him with my…um, with Danny during the stake-out. But I have known Danny for the better part of a decade. I’ve seen him fight with people and I’ve seen him flirt with people – for Danny, there’s only a miniscule difference. What he does with Steve is very much not fighting, at least to Danny.” She stopped, frowning. “As to if Steve is ‘like that’, I cannot attest or deny. However, he strikes me as a man who will not let something like a cultural hang-up get in the way of something he wants. The few conversations we had indicate to me that Steve cares for the well-being of his partner far and beyond what is professionally required.”
“He probably doesn’t know how much he cares. Steve’s never been good at emotions.”
“Neither is Danny. Of which I have to wonder at my blame in the matter. I am sorry to have to inform you like this. It was not my intention coming here this afternoon.”
“Not your fault, Rachel. You didn’t plan to meet me, and I did come here to find answers.”
****
Catherine took a sip of her wine. Studying her companion, she wondered at the other woman's motives. DeVine was located in a small strip mall, easily found if you knew the area, but otherwise, it was a bit off the path for someone who seemed to come from wealth. Catherine had admired that blouse in Macy's and decided it was too expensive. The diamond on Rachel's hand was easily a full carat, if not more. Her clothing was tastefully understated, but the women Catherine knew tended to discard the skirt-and-blouse outfit on Saturdays.
Leaning back, she considered what she'd been told. Steve was unpredictable at times, but would he really risk his military career for someone like Danny? DADT was under fire now, but change came slowly to the military. While Catherine knew well that Steve didn't agree with some of the rules regarding specific sorts of fraternization, she'd been certain of his sexuality. Remembering a date where he'd spent the majority of it talking about Danny, though, she began to wonder if she'd been wrong. Now Rachel sat before her, indicating that Catherine had been mistaken. And why would Rachel feel the need to share this? While she was portraying “concerned friend” well enough, either she hadn’t thought out all the ramifications of this information, or she was playing a truly vindictive game.
"Supposing I believe you," Catherine said carefully as she set her glass down. "Why would you care? You're not married to Danny. Who he sleeps with isn't any of your concern."
Rachel looked insulted at that question. "He's my daughter's father. What he does matters, if he's going to insist on parenting her."
Catherine's eyebrows rose. "Something wrong with the way he parents?"
Anger flashed across Rachel's face. "He confuses the situation."
“Oh?”
“A young lady like Grace, who lives and will move within certain social circles, must maintain certain standards of behavior. Daniel thinks that those standards can be slipped on and off when needed, when in fact, if she is going to interact with her equals, it is a lifestyle she must learn to practice at all times. She needs proper education, etiquette, and decorum. Not floating about the island on a piece of wood or sitting at home watching some provincial sport.”
Catherine watched as Rachel carefully focused on a sign on the far wall during the entire speech and noted a thickening of the accent. “You’re really worried about your daughter not behaving like she’s rich?” She watched as Rachel flinched. “That’s not it, is it? That’s not it at all. You’re worried about…what? Your daughter’s safety? Steve told me about the flap at the Kukui game.”
Rachel’s eyes flickered down to Catherine’s, returning to the spot on the wall. “She will always have access to money and needs to learn how to behave in the appropriate social situations. The behaviors Danny teaches her are inappropriate outside of some caravan park.” She paused, looking down at her hands. “But yes, I am concerned about her safety.”
Catherine studied the tension singing across Rachel’s shoulders. “From what I’ve heard of the man, Danny would do anything to protect your daughter. With Five-0’s resources, I can’t see harm coming to her.”
“Trust me. It can happen.” Shaking her head, Rachel looked up at Catherine. “There were incidents, when we were in Weehawken. A detective’s son was kidnapped, to put leverage on a case. Another’s was killed during a retributive home invasion. All the toys and money can’t buy complete safety. Trust me, I tried to do so, without Danny knowing.”
Shocked and appalled, Catherine could only stare at Rachel for several long moments. "You can't wrap a kid up in a plastic bubble," she said finally.
"Grace is my daughter," Rachel said proprietarily. "And Danny's not exactly the best judge of character. He actually bought my story about needing to learn how to drive in the States. My sources tell me that Steve's unpredictable, and I can't afford to let my daughter get hurt."
"Steve wouldn't hurt Grace," Catherine shot back. "And if he was, as you say, involved with Danny, I don't think that automatically makes him someone who'd hurt a child deliberately."
Rachel shot her a look. "Believe what you want, Catherine. About this, or about Steve. People can change over time."
Annoyed at the other woman's attitude, Catherine let go of a careful breath. It would be way too easy to get up and storm off, intent on finding out the truth, and she had a sneaking suspicion Rachel expected her to do precisely that. Catherine hadn't learned warfare tactics because they were required; she'd been utterly fascinated. The best offense, she decided, was a good defense, and a good defense required a solid understanding of her enemy.
"So they can," the naval intelligence officer acknowledged, forcing a wry smile to her lips. "Is that what happened with you and Danny?"
Rachel shook her head. "No, unfortunately," she said, sounding irritated. "I had such hopes for Danny. He seemed like a good man, and I thought he had more ambition than to be a cop."
"Oh?" Catherine prompted, taking a sip of wine. "Did you have something in mind?"
"Don't tell me you don't know that men need to be guided," Rachel said. "They'd be helpless otherwise."
Catherine shot her an incredulous look. "Maybe some men. Like the sergeant on board my first ship who thought that the best place for a woman was behind a mop, not in command."
Rachel smiled at her triumphantly, clearly pleased that Catherine understood. "Did you correct his assumption?"
"Oh, yes, definitely," Catherine smiled, remembering that incident. "But enough about men. What do you do for fun? Seen any movies lately?"
Rachel relaxed at the question. "Most of my time is spent on committees these days. There's always some charitable organization in need of help. Stan and I usually wind up watching movies on TV."
Having steered the conversation to more neutral topics, Catherine listened and observed, encouraging Rachel to open herself even more. Within an hour, Catherine felt she knew Rachel fairly well, well enough to understand what was going on. She left with Rachel's phone number, and a promise to get in touch again.
*****
Steve had just finished parking his truck in his drive when Catherine pulled up and very neatly blocked him in with her sedan, preventing him from backing up. There, he can’t pull a disappearing act, like he usually does. She was out of her car and by his side before he had the door fully open.
“Catherine, I didn’t expect to see you today. You said you were meeting a friend.”
Catherine knew his usual tactics –figure out the depth of the trouble and improvise a counter-action from there. “I was, actually. Specifically, your sister, who stood me up.”
She watched as Steve slipped, showing honest surprise. “Why were you meeting with Mary? Something I should know about you two?”
“Funny you should say it that way.” She laughed, enjoying the confused furrow on his face. “But no, she stood me up. I figured I’d catch up on some reading anyway, and I’m glad I did. I ran into a mutual acquaintance – Rachel. We had a lovely discussion.” She waited as he studied her and let her annoyance show on her face.
"Rachel?" he stalled, moving towards the back yard.
Catherine rolled her eyes and followed him, knowing he wanted the open space to pace in and waited to speak until they'd reached the chairs closest to the house. "Don't give me that bullshit, McGarrett. You know who I'm talking about. Rachel, Danny's ex-wife. You think I haven't noticed you're ignoring my phone calls? I thought we've been over this. You don't lie to me, and I don't lie to you."
Steve looked bewildered. "Lie? Cath, I have no idea what you're talking about. Now that you're here, though, we can have that dinner we've been planning." He offered her a charming smile. "What do you think?"
Catherine stared at him, not believing him for one second. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
"Cath, I've been busy –"
"Bullshit," she interrupted. "I told you once, you don't get to use work as an excuse for avoiding me unless it's the absolute truth. The last time we managed more than a few weeks together, you tried to pull that shit on me, thinking I wanted a ring and a promise. I told you then I wasn't looking for that from you, remember?"
"That was then," Steve shot back. "You said your posting here was a chance to finally settle down somewhere and not have to worry about renting an apartment you only slept in once every six months."
Catherine blew out a breath. "And you think that means I wanted more from you, the original 'promise a girl anything to get her in bed'?" She laughed. "All I've ever asked from you was the courtesy to let me know when I was supposed to stop thinking we were exclusive."
Steve shook his head. "You wouldn't be this upset if that was the only reason."
Catherine stared at him a long moment, hating the way he saw through her so clearly. He'd always been good at knowing just which of her buttons to push; it was one of the reasons they so often wound up in bed. "So maybe I dreamed a little," she said. "Damn it, you couldn't tell me you're involved with Danny? I thought we were friends."
“What? What are you talking about? I’m not… Who told you that?”
“Skip it, Steve. For a man trained in covert ops, you’re a horrible liar when it comes to your emotions. I’m more annoyed that you didn’t see fit to tell me you’re sleeping with someone else. I’m assuming that you two are exclusive?”
“Catherine…”
She knew what he was stalling about. “Steve, I’m not going to report you and Danny. Ever. No matter how badly this conversation goes. You know I don’t agree with DADT. So let’s get to the simple questions. Are you and Danny in a relationship?”
“We’re partners, Cath. We see each other for ten or more hours every day. Even some weekends. We’ve gotten each other shot. I’d say we’re in a relationship. Why, are you jealous? I could get you shot, then take care of you ‘til you’re healed. Put you in my bed, serve your needs?”
She laughed, trying to picture Steve as a manservant. “Well, that explains how it started." She paused, watching his face close up a little more. It wasn't anything anyone who didn't know him would catch, but she'd seen him pull that particular poker face once too often. Hurt warred with her genuine desire to see Steve happy. "Look, just tell me the truth. Are you sleeping with him?"
"Well, there was that one time we wound up locked up in a storage container," Steve began, smiling easily.
Catherine narrowed her eyes. "I'm not talking platonically."
Steve paced a brief distance away before turning back to her. "Look, it's complicated. I'm sorry, Catherine. I didn't want to say anything before I knew where I stood."
Irritated, Catherine moved closer. "You couldn't just answer my calls and tell me?"
"Tell you what, Cath? That I'm thinking about doing something that might end not only my career, but also someone else's and leave us both with targets on our backs?"
"That's never stopped you before," Catherine began, then rewound what Steve had said. "Wait, you mean you and Danny aren't yet lovers? But Rachel said –"
"Rachel would do or say anything to keep Danny away from their daughter, and yeah, that's a consideration, too," Steve growled. "What did she say?"
She sighed – a open exchange of information at this point was her best option. “She didn’t say out and out that you two were specifically doing anything. She just said that she saw how you two were around each other at the stakeout, that there was only one possible conclusion.” Hoping to head off the blooming panic, she continued quickly, “She was sure about Danny’s emotions, said something that she could read the difference between angry Danny and attracted Danny because she’s seen it before. And you apparently did some very tactless interrogation.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Having listened to you fill up at least one date talking about him, I’m inclined to believe her. Your turn. How long, and does Danny know?”
“That’s two questions.”
Catherine just stared at him, frustrated that he was still playing this game. “McGarrett, I don’t know when this is going to sink in, but I’m on your side. I’m very pissed, but I’m on your side.” She paused, waiting for that to sink in. “How long?”
“That I’ve been…interested in him? Since he stood up to me in my father’s garage. How long I’ve been debating throwing our lives away? Only about a month, since the hostage incident on the Missouri. And before you ask, I think he knows something, since he’s started calling me ‘babe’ for no reason other than to annoy me.”
“Pigtail pulling? Are you two eight or something?” She knew Steve was emotionally stunted, but this was ridiculous.
“Funny. The important point is there’s been nothing going on, so there’s been nothing to tell you about, so I have no idea why you’re mad at me. I’m thinking salmon steaks? Or would you rather go out and actually get dinner?”
She threw up her hands in frustration. "You know what happens every time we try to do that; we wind up in bed."
"Something wrong with that?" Steve asked with his most flirtatious smile as he closed the distance between them and put his hands on her waist.
Stepping back, she narrowed her eyes. "Oh, no, we are not going there. You are not using me as a substitute for someone else."
Annoyed, Steve dropped his masks. "You never minded before."
"Before, I consoled myself with the thought whoever she was, you'd come back to me," Catherine shot back. "I had this notion in my head," and now she laughed self-depreciatingly, "you'd figure out eventually I was the one for you, but now," she paused again, hurt welling up to choke her momentarily, "now I get that who you need isn't ever going to me. You need someone who's going to be right there with you."
Steve stared at her, incredulous. "That's not true."
"No? You're forgetting I know you."
Steve acknowledged that with a reluctant nod. “And you think Danny’s this someone?”
She let her eyes drop to the ground briefly. “I know it’s not me. Danny’s the first person you’ve let in all the way in a long time, Steve. I know for the first time in your life, you’re actually scared of leaping off the ledge in front of you. A ledge you never wanted to get near, with me.” Catherine focused back on Steve’s still face. “So you have two options, McGarrett. You can jump, with my blessing and a parachute in the form of my assistance and covering for a while. Or I can shove you off, no support, no excuses, no friendship if you land on the rocks instead of sliding smoothly into the water.”
When he collapsed into one of the chairs, she continued, not giving him a chance to respond. “I hate it, that I’m not that person, Steve. But you weren’t happy. Hell, you hadn’t been happy the entire time I’ve known you. But now? Your face – that stoic mask you think you have – just lights up every time someone even mentions Danny’s name. Is it going to risk your jobs? Is it going to risk the team? Is it going to risk yourself? Yes, to all of those. But when have you ever given a flying damn about risk, when the reward was so great?"
He sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone. If I do this, I hurt you."
"I'm already hurting," Catherine pointed out bluntly. "But I'm going to kick your ass if you throw away a chance like this. You didn't hear how worried Danny was about you when you were on the Missouri; I did. He was afraid the diary wouldn’t get translated in time to save you."
"He said that?"
Catherine nodded. "He called repeatedly to check on the status." She'd drown her sorrows in running laps later, she decided, watching realization spread across her sometime lover's face. "So, Commander. If this was a mission, how would you plan your attack?"
Startled, Steve blinked. "You want me to plan what…a seduction?"
"Why not?" Catherine challenged. "You did the same when you courted me that first time."
“I did not!”
“Really, McGarrett? You’re going to tell me those times you kept ending up at the same bar as me, all the times two of our friends happened to need another pair to accompany them, that ‘accidental’ email with pictures of you surfing, that they were all lucky coincidence?” Catherine knew she was right, validated by watching him try to repress a smirk.
“There might have been a few notes or guidelines. Nothing really structured, though.”
“Uh-huh. So, Danny. Going to go with the usual attempt at an evening dinner on the beach, only to end up climbing into his lap?”
“He doesn’t like the beach.”
“He what?”
“He doesn’t like the beach. Doesn’t like swimming, won’t surf, complains about the sand and sun. He doesn’t like the beach.”
“There goes your entire playbook.” Catherine paused, baffled. “If he hates the beach, why’d he come to Hawaii? It’s all islands. You can’t avoid the beach.”
“Rachel brought Grace here. That’s why.”
“Well, then. Get his daughter on your side. Go take her to the zoo. Or…” She pulled out her phone and ran a quick search. “The Bishop’s having an expo on deep sea creatures. Really wind her father up.”
“He would kill me.”
“For making his daughter happy? I doubt it. Or you could get him shot and take care of him, like you suggested earlier.” She saw the mixture of fear and anger on his face. “Joke, Steve. Though it’s nice that you’re okay with me getting shot as a method of seduction, but not him.”
“I am sorry, Catherine. That it isn’t you. We could’ve been good.”
“Probably. But we wouldn’t have lasted. Every time we were together, it was as a break between our careers. We never stopped to talk about ‘what if’.” She slumped down into the chair next to him and tuned to face him. “That should’ve been a sign. But this team? Danny? You’re reconsidering your life. What you want. What you can get. What you’re allowed to have. It’s a good look on you.”
“Catherine…”
“Save it, Steve. Promise me two things.”
“Name them.”
She was surprised at the lack of hesitation, but continued on, ticking up one finger. “One. Make him happy. Whatever plan you try to implement. You’ll have to argue with him, you’ll have to laugh with his daughter, you’ll have to not kill that manipulative ex-wife of his, but make sure he’s happy.”
“Already do.”
“And you’re hesitating at this why?” She shook her head at his stubbornness. She flipped up a second finger, then thought better of it and reached across to grab his hands. “Two. Promise you’ll let yourself be happy. Date the man. Jump him already. Don’t worry about the consequences. Retire from the Navy, if you have to – as many cases as you’ve already solved, I doubt the Governor’ll care if you’re active service or not. God knows you're what, a few years away from retirement, at most? But if something happens to him, and you haven’t done anything, all you’ll have left is pain and regret. Take the risk, Steve. Jump over the ledge. But for the love of everything, do what it takes to keep that stupidly goofy smile on your face.”
She stood up then, brushing her hands against her legs. “Now I’m going to go move my car so you can go implement the plan I can already see grinding in that brain of yours.”
“What about you, Cath? What’re you going to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Your sister left me a standing invite to go drinking and pick up some Marines,” she baited, just to see his reaction. “Steve, I’ll be fine. I’m… I’m jumping off my own ledge here. Don’t blame yourself. I will call you later. Tell me how it goes.”
She felt his gaze bore into her back as she crossed the distance to the front of the house. She wasn't surprised when, just as she unlocked her car, Steve caught up to her. For a long moment, they just stared at each other. "A Marine?" he asked her, looking pained. "They're just crazy jarheads."
She laughed, recognizing the concern for her. "Why not? I dated you, remember?" Half afraid she'd lose her bravado, not wanting to break down in front of him, she quickly got into her car and started the engine. If there were tears in her eyes blurring her vision, or she had to turn off the radio when a song that reminded her of Steve came on the air, she didn't let herself dwell on that.
It wasn't until an hour later, when she'd indulged herself with a pity party, and then laced up her shoes to run, that what Rachel had said hit her in a different way. As Catherine ran her usual five-mile route, she analyzed the conversation again, focusing on how Rachel had been driven to protect her daughter.
Rachel was adamant about that one thing, she decided, which means she's likely to do whatever it takes to protect her daughter. Wonder if she and Danny have joint custody?
Though Catherine had been fortunate to grow up in a family that hadn't gone through a divorce, she remembered how her best friend had dealt with shuffling homes every week. It hadn't always gone well, especially after her father's remarriage.
Rachel said she was afraid that Danny would hurt his daughter if he was gay. What the hell kind of thought process is that? No one who's gay is automatically someone who'd hurt a child, no more than anyone else is. What the hell is she planning? Could she take custody away from Danny? Steve said Danny was here because Grace was here.
Alarmed, Catherine nearly stopped running, and forced herself to do the right thing by slowing down and stretching instead. Grabbing her cell phone outof the fanny pack she kept it in, she brought up her web browser and started doing research. When looking at the screen became too tedious, she headed over to a nearby library to finish her work.
Three hours later, Catherine had the information she needed. Armed with that information, she headed back home, turning over what she was going to do in her head as she completed the run back to her apartment. By the time she'd showered and changed, she knew what she had to do. She had less than thirty hours before she had to report to duty. Something told her, though, she was running out of time.
*****
“Well, this is an unusual surprise. To what do I owe the honor, Lieutenant Rollins?” Danny waved as he sat down across from Catherine at Kamekona’s main shop.
She had called and asked him to meet her there, seeking neutral ground to talk to the shorter detective and find his take of the situation. But from everything she had heard, getting an honest answer was going to take a bit of finagling. “Oh, we spend enough time on the phone relaying messages for Commander McGarrett that I wanted to meet the man behind the voice.” She specifically was looking for how he reacted to any mention of Steve.
“Really? Was it the erudite lexicon or the civilized tone that most piqued your interest?”
She had to laugh at the blatant sarcasm in his voice. “More, I wanted to actually get to see why Steve is always talking about you in his downtime.” Raised but parted eyebrows, slight lifting at the corners of the mouth – surprise, and a little bit of pleasure at that. “I figured I wanted to scope out the competition.” Eyebrows down and scrunched, hand drumming on the table – oh, he didn’t like the word “competition”, not one bit.
“Competition for what? I did not know we were in some sort of competition. Steve, Steve’s always competing. But I did not know we were all doing such.”
“Calm down, Danny. It’s a joke. We’re not competing.” She watched his shoulders relax and his hand still. “I just wanted to get another story about how the team worked, see how it sounded from a non-Steve point of view.” Now she had his interest.
“What, are you writing a book, or something? The Suicidal Man and His Little Lemmings? Though really, everyone’s little compared to him, so that’s redundant.”
“Actually, my thesis at the Academy was on small-group dynamics in cross-linguistic international force structures.” Catherine was actually proud of that, though it would never see the light of day, since it was a tour of several NATO countries under government sanction. “I wanted to see how a civilian organization under stresses similar to combat interacted. Plus, the sociological interactions between two related natives, a mainlander, and whatever you count Steve as are fascinating.” She watched as he became suspicious.
“Uh-huh. You do realize, as I have been a detective for a few years, I’m sometimes aware when someone is spinning me a story. And you, young lady, are spinning me a story. So spill. Why are we talking? Because it isn’t about how we are living in each other’s pockets.”
She had to take that tactical advantage. “Oh? Do you spend a lot of time in Steve’s pockets?” Catherine mentally cheered when he sat up straight, a blush rising on his face. “The cargos he always wears now must make that convenient.” She paused, waiting until right before he was going to speak. “Can you keep this conversation between us?”
“That it happened, or the topic?”
“The topic. I guess, if you need to, you can tell Detective Kelly or Officer Kalakaua, but I’d really appreciate it if you kept this a secret from Steve.” And wasn’t that a fascinating set of emotions that played across Danny’s face: starting with glee at the idea of keeping a secret from Steve; racing through doubt that it was possible; ending with slight disgust at the results of doing so.
“I’ll try, but you know how that man is.”
“Yeah. Okay. My current tour is up in a year, and I’ve been thinking about getting out of the service.” She watched the surprise wipe across his face. “I know. You figured me for a lifer. But I’m starting to run into a wall, advancement-wise. If I had some civilian service, it would open up options in other government agencies. Steve’s…” She had to spin this just right to be believable. “Steve’s mentioned once or twice before that there might be a space available on the task force for someone with my skill set, if I was interested.” She watched annoyance lock his jaw down, and wondered what part was aggravating Danny’s temper.
“Wonderful. How nice of him to go recruiting you without asking any of the rest of us.”
“To be fair, he was a bit, um, cuddly at the time. I wasn’t sure if he really meant it, and I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I figured since you’re the one more inclined to paperwork, I’d check with you.”
“You do have some talents and resources we could use, both in languages and information gathering. And self-preservation, too, come to think. But why the clandestine meeting?”
“Habit? You know how we Intelligence types are.” She laughed at his waving hand. “No, seriously, though. I know how important small-team dynamics are – like I said, I did a paper on it – and I don’t want to interfere and disrupt the team. So I’m curious how you think I’d fit in with the team.”
“Why aren’t you asking Steve?” He appeared puzzled that she came to him instead.
“I don’t want to get his hopes up. Or cause him to do a runner. Either way, I’m not asking him about relationships. I like accurate sources.”
“Okay, that makes sense.” He stopped, looking up for a minute to gather his thoughts. “Chin, nothing disturbs him as long as you do your job efficiently and well. It also helps to buy him a beer occasionally or admire his new gadgets even if you don’t know what they do. Of course, you probably know what they do. Kono has been here long enough that she’s realizing that she doesn’t know everything. With her, as long as you don’t underestimate her, you’ll be fine; she’ll probably drag you out to go pick up or beat on boys. Me, I’m easy to get along with, as long as you understand that when I start explaining something, there is a justified reason I am explaining it and it is not just to hear myself talk. Steve.” He sighed.
Catherine leaned forward, paying close attention. Any vocal tic or slight movement in this description would let her have a better idea of what Danny felt toward Steve.
“Steve is…" Danny paused again, clearly choosing his words carefully. "Steve is that guy who's going to ignore every rule you just spent the last half hour explaining, if it means he gets the perp. He'll do anything for you if you're one of his people. And God only knows why, but he insists on getting on my nerves, insisting I need to relax more." Danny snorted, but the sound only came out sounding fond. "Like I need to lie on a beach and do nothing but get skin cancer."
Catherine laughed softly. "So, has he connived you into spending some time in his backyard?"
Danny scowled, but there was no real heat in it. "It doesn't really count if your backyard is more than half beach. Hard to avoid it if you want to have a beer in the backyard." Danny pinned Catherine with a look. "You tell him I said that, and the conversation will be less friendly the next time we meet."
She shook her head. "You two are eight; it is pigtail-pulling. I swear, you are perfect for each other."
Danny looked startled for a moment before doubt and suspicion crossed his face. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded. "He didn't break up with you, did he?" When she didn't immediately respond, Danny went on, "That's why you're here. He's such an asshole."
Catherine gave Danny credit; he was half right. "I told him once he was the guy in high school who never took 'no' for an answer," she said with an attempt at a smile, "but I'm the one who –"
"Jesus, Catherine, he was so happy to see you," Danny interrupted. "He wouldn't tell me why, either; made me figure it out. Told me later he wanted to see if I could." The detective reached across the table and clasped her hand. "I thought maybe you and him…."
Blinking past a sudden rush of tears, Catherine took a deep breath. "Yeah, well, that's what a girl gets for dreaming she can keep a guy like Steve."
“Did he have a reason? Is he pulling a runner? Did some big nasty emotion jump out and scare him? How much do I have to beat him up for you?” Danny let go of Catherine's hand, his hands underscoring his concern for her.
“Danny, calm down. It was.” She choked a little bit, her emotions still really shallow. “It was mutual, really. He’s settling down, here, and starting to think about rebuilding his family. It’d be nice, but I’m not ready to be Mrs. McGarrett yet.”
“He hasn’t said anything! Is he dating someone else? How does he have enough time to date someone else? I don’t.”
“Nothing formal like dating, but yes, he is…seeing someone else, kinda.” She noted the faint frown on Danny’s face. “And he doesn’t have a daughter he spends time with.”
“No, he just spends half the time I have Grace nosing in. I swear the man’s going to sue for custody soon. ”
She snorted at that – Steve really needed to work on the concept of subtle. Of course, as Danny hadn’t apparently noticed what was going on, maybe Steve was on the right course after all. “Are you okay with that, with Steve seeing someone else?”
"Why wouldn’t I be? He's a nice, if really annoying, guy. He deserves," Danny began, then stopped and narrowed his eyes. "Why do you care? He's a jerk for agreeing to let you go."
Catherine half-shrugged. "Hard to stop caring for someone," she said.
"Tell me about it," Danny agreed sympathetically. "Rachel – Rachel gets on my nerves, but she and I have a daughter together, and I still respect her for being Grace's mom. Though there are days when I really wonder if she's trying to erase that, too."
"Why would anyone do that?"
Danny grimaced and shrugged. "Something to prove, I guess. That she's the better parent, that she has more money, that she doesn't need me around." He shook his head. "Doesn't she know that girls who grow up without their fathers are more likely to get into trouble? Stepfathers don't really count as much, not according to the statistics I've read. I'm not letting that happen to Grace, no matter what Rachel tries to do."
Catherine frowned, not liking what she was hearing. Putting that together with her earlier impression of Rachel made her lean even more heavily towards making sure the other woman didn't stand a chance at succeeding. "What does she try to do?"
"Keep me from retaining joint custody, for one," Danny said bluntly.
She reeled back. Steve had said something along those lines, as had Rachel, but it was still slightly shocking. “Why? All the stories I hear, Steve thinks you’re an awesome father. Not that he had the best role model himself, but what he describes sounds like you’re marginally competent.”
“Thank you for the wonderful praise. No, no.” He raised his left hand and started to tick his fingers into the air. “My job endangers Grace, which to some extent I’ll grant. I’m not educating her to be a proper lady – because at eight, she needs to know how to host a dinner party, of course. She’s not getting to mingle with the proper level of society. I have questionable taste in acquaintances. My apartment is not suitable habitation.”
“The last one’s true, from what I hear.” Steve had wasted fifteen minutes during one phone call on that place.
“Steve really talks about me that much?”
“You didn’t know? You’re one of his favorite topics to rant about. According to him, cockroaches are up-market.”
“Says the man who’s still living in his father’s décor. As much as the man complains about my place, he’s never offered to help me find a new one.”
“Have you asked?” She rolled her eyes. He’d probably have you move in, to ‘save on the bills’. “But nothing of what you said is going to get a judge to take custody away. You’re not hurting her, are you? Or bringing a parade of women home?” She paused slightly. “Or men?”
He looked up at the sky, as if asking for help. “Not that we haven’t already covered this before, but when do I have time to date, let alone bring anyone home? I mean, I’ve met a few people, but they didn’t really understand my priorities. The team’s paperwork alone is a full-time job, on top of being a wildly successful detective and a good father to Grace.” He looked straight at her. “As to hurting Grace, for the sake of our friendship, I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that, didn’t even consider it as a possibility. Just…no.”
Interesting. No reaction to bringing guys home, and he’s playing the pronoun game. “So why are you worried?”
“Because she has more than enough money, to make sure any appeal is heard before a favorable judge. And unless competency is an issue, these things almost always go in favor of the mother. Whatever else you can say about Rachel, she’s competent.”
Catherine had to nod at that. Rachel did exude an air of self-control, as if she sought to at least be competent in a situation if not more.
“I nearly lost Grace once. I moved around the world just to be near her, get the chance to see her occasionally. I can’t do anything that pushes Rachel over the edge. What would I do if Rachel decided to move to London? She's threatened to do that. I already know I can't work there without a sponsor, and I only know how to be a cop; I don't know how to be anything else."
"You have a good lawyer?"
Danny grimaced. "Man's a greedy shark." He paused. "But you didn't come here to hear me rant.”
“You sound like you need it. You told any of this to anyone? Steve? The rest of the team?”
“Hell no. They don’t need my crap on top of their own. Chin’s still got family problems. Kono’s overheard a bit of it, but she doesn’t know the whole shape.” He traced a hand in the air in a large circle. “Steve probably knows all about it, nosy damn ninja that he is, but I’ve never told him.”
“Danny, they’re your team. They’re there for you. The stress is gonna wear you down, and that’s gonna endanger your team. You should talk to them. Unless you don’t trust them.”
“No, I trust them with my life. Hell, I trust them with Grace’s life. Even the maniac. I’ll talk to them. I will. Just not yet.”
“Don’t wait too long. Better to have a plan in place.”
“Believe it or not, I do know that.”
“So you trust Steve with Grace, huh?” She knew she missed innocent by a lot when he squinted his eyes at her.
Staring at her doubtfully, he snapped out, “Where are you going with that question, huh?”
“Just asking. You two seem to be the keystone of the team. Making sure you have a good relationship.”
“Uh-huh. You’re up to something, and I will find out what it is.” He sighed, looking down at his clasped hands. “He’s an arrogant, spontaneous jerk who’s going to drive us off the road into the ocean one of these days. But I trust his plans, him, more than any other partner I’ve worked with. He...” He looked straight up into her eyes. “As much as I still hate having to move here, he makes it tolerable. Most days. When he’s not jumping off a building or getting me shot.”
She nodded. “You hang out outside of work at all?”
“What is this, more of your thesis? Yes, we socialize outside of work. More like, he’s always showing up to drag me to some corner of this island to see some monument or local something-or-other. Or to feed me. He’s always trying to feed me. If he thinks I’ve got Grace, it’s a guarantee I’ll see him for part of that weekend.”
“You want me to tell him to back off?”
“No! I mean, no. He has his moments where I can kill him – any time he orders pizza, for one – but he’s good to have around. He’s good for Grace, too.” Danny quickly looked down at his watch. “Speaking of, I need to go pick her up from her friend’s party. I’ll see you around some time?”
“Yeah. You’ve got my personal number. Call me any time you need to vent. About Rachel or about Steve. I’ll listen and help you plot.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Take care, Cath. Probably call you next week to consult on that drug case – it’s starting to look like there might be a naval connection.” He got up from the table and snapped off a fake salute.
“Oh, I shall wait by my phone in anticipation!” She watched as he walked to the car and drove away from the sno-cone stand. That man may not be ready to admit it, but he feels something for his partner, and he knows it. Time to go plot against Rachel, and I should probably let Steve in on this.
---
The following afternoon
Rachel walked into DeVine, cheered by the invitation to join Catherine again. The shop was less crowded than the day before. Catherine was nowhere to be found, and Rachel checked her watch. Frowning, she noted she wasn't late, but decided perhaps the other woman had been delayed. Deciding she'd skip the wine for now, she considered an iced tea. She was in the midst of picking out her tea variety from the fairly extensive selection on the counter when she felt someone tap her on the arm.
Turning, she was pleased to see Catherine standing there. "Sorry I’m late," she apologized. "I had to stop, get gas, and put air in one of my tires. Wound up paying for air, can you believe that? Two dollars to put air in my tire, and that was after looking for a gas station that had a pump that worked." She looked suitably frazzled.
"Let me buy you a drink," Rachel offered, sympathetic.
"Oh, no, I'm –"
"I insist," Rachel said. To the waiting barista, she said, "I'll try the passion fruit tea, and a glass of wine for my friend here." Rachel scanned the wine list with a professional eye, and picked out something she thought Catherine would like. "The Tapeña Rosé."
The barista acknowledged the order with a smile that didn't quite light her eyes and went to fill it as Catherine said, "Good choice. I like Spanish wines." She waited until the barista had filled both of their orders and Rachel had paid before moving to a table one removed from the one they'd used yesterday. No sooner had Catherine sat down before her phone buzzed.
"Sorry," Catherine said apologetically. "Excuse me a moment; I'll just take this outside." Without waiting for Rachel's response, she rose and walked out.
Rachel was halfway through her glass of iced tea when a shadow fell over her table. Looking up, she was surprised to see Steve McGarrett slide into the seat Catherine had vacated and set a cell phone down.
“Commander McGarrett. I didn’t expect to see you here. Did you and Catherine get things settled between the two of you?” She watched for any sign of acknowledgement from him, but he sat there, silent, his face an emotionless mask. “I’m sorry, Commander, did I do something wrong?” Had he found out about the rumor she started with Catherine?
His face suddenly sprang to life, a smile spreading across it. “Sorry, you reminded me of something. Catherine will be delayed a while; I know that ringtone.” He paused, looking in the direction Catherine had left, and turned back to Rachel. “No wine?”
“It’s a bit early, for me. What brings you to our table, then?”
“Well, Cath mentioned she was meeting you, and since we didn’t have a lot of chance to just talk during the stakeout. I figured I’d tag along, see if I can get to know you better.”
She laughed at that. It was sounding slightly like a first date, now. “And why would you like to get to know me better, Commander McGarrett?”
“Well, you’re a smart, charming woman. Why wouldn’t I want to get to know you better?”
“I’m also a married woman, Commander.”
He laughed. “I just meant as friends. If nothing else, I want to see the source of the tales Danny tells, see how much of it bears any reality to the real world.”
“Ah, so you’ve met my husband’s tendency to exaggerate.” She winced slightly at the unconscious slip, hoping McGarrett wouldn’t notice.
“Blow things out of proportion, you mean? Yes, I have noticed it.”
“So what stories has he been telling?” She wondered what game Steve was playing, here.
“He mentioned something about some exuberance in Christmas tree shopping.”
“Okay, no.” Rachel shook her head. “He was the one who said we should cut our own tree that year, since it was the first Grace would remember. And you know how short he is. His perspective to measure the tree was off.”
“All he said was something about shoving a behemoth of a tree through the entryway.”
“It was a 12’ tree in a 10’ room. He swore he cut it short enough at the yard.”
“Uh-huh. And who put enough ornaments on it that it fell over?”
“Lies. I still insist it was Grace trying to climb the tree that caused it to tip.”
“Uh-huh. So the truth’s a little closer to both of you deserving some blame.”
“Such slander, Commander. Are you implying Danny might not be completely full of it?”
“Not anywhere he might hear.” He smiled carelessly. "But I have noticed there's always an element of truth in what he says, that he really dislikes blatant lies. He's an honorable man, in his way. Was that what attracted you to him?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "It was charming, at first. Then I realized he really means it when he tries to live within certain parameters. I can't believe he's still happy to be a cop."
“It’s what he’s good at, Rachel.”
She was frustrated by this topic. Lord knew she had fought it out with Danny countless times. “Yes, but he could be good at a lot of things, Steve. He’s decent enough with numbers to be a CPA. You’ve seen his amazing people skills. Even if he wanted to stay in law enforcement, it wouldn’t be hard for him to take the LSAT and get in a good school somewhere. He’d get to argue professionally. Instead, he’s a professional bulldog.”
“Is there something wrong with being an investigator?” Steve tilted his head to the side.
“No! No. I understand it’s a necessary job, and it’s not like he’s still writing speeding tickets. But I wish he showed more motivation. He could make captain if he put his mind to it and actually played the politics.”
“I can’t see Danny ever willingly playing the politics more than what’s necessary. You know he enjoys the hands-on method, Rachel.”
“He wants the chase, you mean, and doesn’t care about the risks. Not the risks to himself, not the risks to his partner, not the risks to his family.” She snapped out harshly, and stopped to take a calming breath.
“Funny. He’s always complaining about my risk-taking.”
“It’s…” She leaned back, collecting her thoughts. “It’s not the adrenaline. That, he can take or leave. But give him a complicated case to puzzle out and you won’t see him until it’s solved. He won’t sleep. He won’t shave. He’ll eat whatever’s in easy reach. Everything else falls by the wayside. He used to be a lot worse about it.” She watched Steve nod, as if he had seen all those behaviors.
“Yeah, I’ve seen Danny do that. Dad did it. Chin does it, too. Supposedly, it makes a good detective.”
“Yes, but he gets such tunnel vision that he doesn’t see anything around him. He never sees the risks he exposes people around him to.”
Steve sat back, clearly contemplating what she'd said. Then he leaned forward. "What kind of risks are you talking about? I mean, if he had a good partner –"
"That's just it," Rachel interrupted, annoyed that Steve wasn't seeing what she did. "He had good partners, but they weren't as dedicated to the job as he was. I've never met a man more dedicated to his work than Daniel."
“How, exactly, is that a bad thing? I’d love it if half the police were as dedicated as Danny.”
“He can’t prioritize.” She paused. "The night I had Grace, he was on a call to arrest a murder suspect. He said he’d be there when she was born. He missed that by twenty-three minutes."
“That doesn’t sound like Danny. He dotes on Grace – he’s left meetings with the governor to pick her up.”
“He’s been making up for it ever since.” She sighed. ”About once a year, he sinks his teeth into a really juicy case and worries it and worries it until he breaks his promise to be at a birthday party. Or a family gathering. Or a school play. And the guilt starts all over again. He doesn’t mean to. But it happens.”
“Danny’s human, Rachel. He’s allowed to make mistakes.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Was this stranger actually telling her how to feel about her ex-husband?
“Calm down. He’s got a lot of faults to be mad at.”
“I’m not mad at him!” She stopped, surprised by the truth in that. “I’m not mad, not anymore. Frustrated. Disappointed. Daniel did everything he could to become a detective. Then just stopped there. I understand he loved it, but it’s not what we needed, Grace and I. We needed him home more. We needed him to not bring work home with him. We needed him safe. I needed him to keep us safe.”
“He puts a lot of bad people away, Rachel.”
“That just made us less safe, Steve.” Searching for terms Steve would understand was difficult. “When you went on a mission, you flew in, did the mission, and left. There was no chance for whoever was left behind to retaliate. Every time Daniel put someone away, he didn’t get to leave. He just came home. There was a possibility for retaliation.
“Some of the organizations wouldn’t just target the officers. They’d target the families. You remember the Kukui game? To some organizations, the police are just another gang, and all the usual rules apply.”
“Is that what has you so scared?”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. Your team is kicking over some large anthills. At some point, somebody’s going to take exception to your meddling. Part of the reason I was happy when we moved to Hawaii is I thought we were going to move well away from that, leave all that behind. Then Danny moved here and the risk was real again. I don’t want Grace hurt.”
“Or yourself.”
“Or myself. Or Daniel, if we’re being honest. It’s not just the physical risk to Grace. I can hear about what happened to Meka and sleep through the night.” Well, most nights, but she wasn’t telling McGarrett that. “Grace can’t.”
“Rachel, taking Grace away isn’t going to reduce how much she cares for him. Or how much Danny cares for her. She’d still be a target. Even if you moved back to England, she’d be a target – several of the organizations we’ve taken down are international.”
Rachel sighed, staring down into her tea. “I know. I just think that if I can keep her away from that life, it’ll make her safer.”
“Rachel…” He trailed off. After another minute, he spoke in a quiet, even tone. “What will it take for you to stop endangering Danny?”
Her head snapped up. “Excuse me? When have I ever endangered Danny?”
“Only every time that you’ve tried to take Grace away from him. He gets distracted, sloppy. He makes rash decisions.”
Her temper flared. “His poor judgment is not my –“
“Yes, actually, it is. Every time he thinks you’re keeping Grace from him, even if it’s just a schedule change, he gets depressed. He gets less observant, less reflexive. He doubts himself. One of these days, it’s going to get him – or one of my team – hurt, badly. I don’t want to think about Danny in the ICU. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to live that again, either.”
She nodded, silently. Those first few days, the first time he got shot, a month into their marriage, were the worst days of her life.
"I don’t expect happy families from you two. Just try to think about Danny’s side a little more. Also, so it’s been said, as she is the dependent of a task force member, I do have resources to protect Grace. You just have to ask.” He stopped, scanning her face as she nodded slowly. “Can I start another argument?”
She chuckled. “I’ll have to tell Danny that you asked my permission. He’ll be so jealous. Go ahead. If I’m not sick of you now, I doubt this will make it worse.”
“What’s going to be your reaction when Danny starts dating again?”
“You mean if. Daniel hasn’t actively pursued a relationship in a while, to my knowledge.” She leaned back, wondering where he was going with this.
“In his defense, he moved across country and I’ve been keeping him busy at work.”
“He hasn’t dated very much since the divorce. Remember, I have known him longer.” She sighed. “I don’t know, honestly. It’d be good to see him move on. But it depends if she’s good enough for Danny.”
“What if it’s a guy?”
Rachel sat up, focusing on Steve’s face. “Excuse me? Do you know something about my husband that I don’t?” Damn, she knew he’d notice if she kept slipping like that.
He sat there, holding her stare but not saying a word.
“I. I never gave it much thought.” Even though she had started that rumor and had some minor suspicions about what was going on between Danny and Steve, Danny had never mentioned any actual interest in guys when they were married. “I guess I’d use the same standards as if it was a girl. Is he treating Danny well? Is he making Danny happy? Does Grace like him? Does he endanger Danny’s job? Can I tolerate him, at least enough for holiday gatherings?” She stopped abruptly, as segments of this conversation flashed back, along with exchanges from the stakeout. She wondered how close her rumor was to the truth. “Why do you ask, Steve? Are you asking permission to date my ex-husband?” She only saw his face freeze for a brief second because she had been watching for it – she wasn’t fully comfortable reading his emotional cues yet, but that looked like it struck a mark.
“Uh, of course not. That’d be weird. I’m his boss. And his partner.”
If he thought that was an excuse, she had news for him. “It’s not unheard of, Commander. But I’ll take your word for it. I’d hope that the person could make Danny happy, or at least calm. That they got along with Grace. And that they’d protect Daniel – not just on the job, but from himself, when he gets in one of his moods. If they don’t, well, I have a lawyer on retainer, a black book full of names, and a lot of free time with which to make someone’s life miserable. Be sure to pass that on.”
“Noted. I’ll make sure they get the message. You seem remarkably calm at the idea.”
“I’m not. Oh, I’m not.” She sighed, knowing that this conversation had spiraled beyond her control now. “But I lost the right to veto his social life when we filed the divorce papers. If I thought he’d date someone of questionable taste, we’d discuss Grace’s safety. But even I can acknowledge he puts her first, so I have to assume that’d be his first priority. I’m not quite old-fashioned enough to be disgusted by two guys together, however bizarre it strikes me to think of Danny in that position.” Rachel studied the man across the table from her. "I must admit, I thought for sure you two were –"
Steve arched an eyebrow, and Rachel faltered. "I mean, not that it's my business –"
"You thought it was enough of your business to warn me," Catherine interrupted, as she pulled up a chair next to Steve while turning off her cell phone and stared hard at Rachel. "I believe you thought Danny's relationship with Steve was dangerous."
Rachel eyed the pair, who leaned into each other with the unmistakable air of familiarity. "Everything Danny does is dangerous." Abruptly, she realized she'd how large her mistake was, that she was going to have to do damage control. "I'm sorry if I hurt you by what I said, Catherine."
"Hurt me?" Catherine shook her head, mouth twisting in disbelief. "You can't touch what I have with Steve. You had that once with Danny, didn't you? The trust, the synergy, the sense you're the only one who matters?"
Rachel looked away, unwilling to confirm just how right Catherine was. "Danny messed that up."
"So you'll keep making him pay for that?" Catherine asked, leaning forward intently.
"I—" Rachel stumbled, startled at the way Catherine and Steve watched her with such intensity, like a pair of predators hungry for a kill. "I just want Grace to grow up safe, to be a lady worthy of our heritage. My family has always had money and a position of power in British society."
"Wouldn't you say that includes being open-minded?" Steve questioned.
"I always was under the impression that you Brits understood that sexuality doesn't reflect professional talent," Catherine added in. "Or are you just mad he actually meant it when he said he wouldn't abandon his responsibility to your daughter? Man did move almost six thousand miles to be here. Are you mad that he keeps his commitment to Grace, but not to you?"
"Makes me wonder what you were trying to do, Rachel," Steve noted softly. "My guess is that you were hoping the judge would rule for some sort of fatherly abandonment when you moved here when he wasn’t able to. But you found out you can't do that, can you, so while you’re not going to do anything overt, you’re just going to make his life miserable and hope that it’s enough to finally drive him away."
Rachel stood. "I don't know where you're going with this, but I don't need to sit here and listen to your accusations."
"Go ahead, leave," Catherine invited. "Then you can have the satisfaction of being never wrong. For example – when you found out your permanent resident status was in jeopardy because your green card was tied to your marriage to Danny, that was his fault, too, wasn't it?"
Hand on the chair back to push it into the table, Rachel froze. "How'd you find that out?" she demanded.
Catherine smiled coldly. "You're not the only one with a black book full of names," she said. "Wonder what Stan would say if he knew how much you were still obsessing over Danny – or should I say, your ‘husband’, as you keep calling him?”
Unconsciously, Rachel sank back into the chair she'd risen from moments before. "You wouldn't," she whispered.
"You chose the wrong people to play hardball with," Steve informed her. "Danny is my partner. Take that to mean what you will, but you're not going to win this game. Not on my watch." He rose, and Catherine stood with him, looking somehow more military despite the casual clothing they wore. Without any further words, they exited the coffeehouse, leaving Rachel alone to ponder what her next move would be.
For several minutes, she sat there, numb. She couldn't believe someone had seen through her; she'd been so confident she'd managed to blindside a trained detective, after all. Certain only that she needed to get back home, where things made sense, she rose and headed out to the parking lot. The scene that caught her eye froze her in her tracks.
Danny had pulled his Camaro next to a black truck. Catherine and Danny were laughing as Steve chased a giggling Grace around the two parked vehicles.
"Save me, Danno!" Grace called. "He's the big bad monster!"
"Save yourself," Catherine suggested, elbowing Danny when he looked surprised.
Grace stopped running. Wide-eyed, she turned, clearly thinking. Steve halted, waiting cagily. Then Grace ran after Steve, causing the SEAL to call out, "Save me, Danno!"
Danny obliged, snagging Grace up with the ease of long practice. She squirmed, unwilling to end the game. Danny whispered something in her ear, then let her go. Caught off guard, Steve was helpless to stop the tickle attack that ensued, and their laughter rang across the parking lot.
Blinking past a sudden rush of memory from all the times she'd watched Danny chase Grace while his loved ones looked on, Rachel resolutely turned away from the scene. She’d been walking away from Danny and her sins for a long time now. What was one time more?
Finis 12-27-10