hero of the moment

by Raine Wynd

something inside shatters
when you speak of needs i can't meet
you built walls of quicksilver and koi
but left me with no rope
no key
no ladder
no door
and expected me to scale them
every time you call
and i will
and i have

you sing high praise of my deeds
to our friends
our neighbors
but detail how i've failed you
how i didn't save you
when we're alone
and still you want me to defend you
protect you
hold you warm in the middle of the night
and i will
and i have

your walls rise higher
change color and composition
a shimmer of satin and spider webs yesterday
today a maze of mortars and medusas
and every time you call
i scale them
defuse them
make them crumble beneath my hands
and you commission statues in my honor
but slice my skills with your words
when we're alone

you built walls that mutate with your moods
and i know the patterns to them all:
which need gloves to protect my hands
or simple words to unlock the hidden doors
or soft caresses to melt them away
and which will still leave me nursing scars
when i'm alone
but i...i grow weary of being
your hero of the moment
when it's never
the right one

originally posted to LiveJournal and revised
Thanks to Chris Blakeley for the insistence it "needed work". :-)