if

if

by Raine Wynd

i've seen your face in a thousand dreams
heard your whisper like i would a thousand screams
i've touched a heart as giving as yours before
and felt its love shake me to my core
i've known you in the stories i've read|
believed that men like you were long dead
i've laughed at jokes far from funny
but no one had ever taught me to play gin rummy

till i met you the sky was the same
and life rolled on its usual way
till i met you the birds never came
except to ruin my car's new wax job
till i met you i had no one else to blame
for the aching emptiness of my soul
till i met you the stars rarely shone
and i never wished upon the few that did
till i met you nobody'd give me a loan
for even a penny or two 'til payday
till i met you i had little use for a phone
now i can't seem to hang it up

III

if love was money
and money was fame
would the value of my feelings
reflect the current market worth
or would it still be priceless?
if fame bought time
and time was endless
would my being with you
mean that forever was ours to take
or would we still have to become rich first?

when i was younger i thought i knew everything
now i realize love makes its own rules
and breaking those rules hurts like a bitch
but if i had loved you like you wanted me to
would i have found happiness?

when i was younger i dreamed of a fairy tale life
now i realize fairy tales are few and far in between
and believing in miracles doesn't make them happen overnight
but if i had taken what you had offered to me
would i have convinced myself otherwise?

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