The Sher Odes

These poems are based on Amand-r's Masters of Deception Arc, featuring Scheherazade MacKenzie, and will make more sense when you read them. Unfortunately, they aren't on the web except at Seventh Dimension. I was fortunate to have been Amand-r's beta reader for the entire arc, but as I'd beta-read one part, I'd get so motivated, I'd write poetry. These are the results.

Part One:

(Methos)

you were the last thing I was expecting
this morning when I woke up to face the day
I was hoping for a distraction from my ennui
but discovering Lolita wasn't on the agenda
then you walked in the room and everything changed

you were the first thing I looked forward to
this evening when I went to hear a friend play
I was waiting for that air kiss you always sent me
but I thought I was going to be disappointed
till you blew me one as you sailed out the door

(Sher)

i never thought i'd have a chance like this --
the chance to get to know you as a person
instead of just a story i held in my hands
dreams cannot compare to this sweet reality
and i'm afraid i'm a-gonna disappoint you
cos i'm just a girl who's been dying for a long time
and i know my chances in this Game are slim

i never thought i'd have a chance like this --
the chance to be with you as your friend
instead of someone who could only pretend to be
dreams cannot compare to this sweet reality
and i'm not sure where to go from here
cos i'm just a girl who's been flaunting the rules for a long time
and i know someday i'll have to pay for all i've done

Part Two:

(Sher)

how can I tell you the secrets I know?
do you know how I lived with the aching pain
of wishing it was me instead of her you held so tight
as you stared into the setting sun over the Nile
even then, I cared more than I wanted to

how can I tell you the secrets I know?
I look at you and the words won't come
and I call myself a fool for wanting more
than what we're both ready for
even now, I care more than I wanted to

how can I tell you the secrets I know?
do you know how I've dreamed of being this close
and just being with you is a fantasy come true
and I can't take back the things I know
still, I care more than I wanted to

how can I tell you the secrets I know?
guess it's a little too late to keep them anymore
and if you kill me now, at least I'll have this moment
of knowing that you finally know I cared
more than I ever wanted to
(I don't want to lose you now)

Part Three:

(Sher)

come on now, let's go dancing naked,
drink another pitcher of beer at Joe's,
talk about anything but what i have to say
maybe we can discuss horse breeding in history,
and weave stories that might be true about us
but i'm better at writing down my observations
and you've always been my favorite subject

this is the moment we've waited for
and all i want to do is stick in another CD
in the monster truck's stereo, the volume up high,
and see if you'll sing along with me, just the chorus
maybe you and me could just keep driving
and escape this madness before it consumes us
but i'm very much afraid i've bargained my soul
and the piper will soon come to demand her price

Part Four:

(Methos)

last night i held you closer than anyone
you said you'd never been really loved before
and i pretended that my old heart didn't hear

this morning you were close to taking my head
and i think i would've probably killed you
just because you were annoying me that much

you know me better than anyone has a right to
and your voyeurism makes me want to run and hide
you say you were just doing your job

i wonder just how many more secrets you keep
in that storehouse of tales i know you haven't told
still you smile and say you've never lied to me

Part Five:

(Methos)

what is reality? what is truth? what is the inbetween?
is it just a matrix on someone's computer screen?
i know i suddenly feel like a puppet on strings
and nothing is as strange as this wonderland
we've been forced into by orchestrated circumstance

it's all my fault for not listening to that voice
that said i should stay the hell away from you
i know better than to play the white knight to your damsel
but i thought i had everything under control

you've turned my world upside down
and i'm doing things I haven't done in eons
like teaching someone i was falling in love with
and it tears my heart to see this truth revealed

i don't want to live in this shadowed darkness
knowing i ran away to leave you to die alone
did i really grow stronger by accepting your choice
or am i just a master at deceiving myself into thinking so?

Part Six:
(Methos)

in shadows of memory my love waits
creeping out of me subconsciously
my friends notice, but say nothing
and then i wake up to find you gone
i grab for something of you to hold
the scent of cloves still lingers on
the old sweater i let you borrow
and it's not enough just to smell it

in shadows of memory my love waits
emerging from the muted darkness
to shine like a forgotten rainbow
i have a thousand questions to ask
but all i can think about is how you're here
the feel of your skin more vivid than ever before
it's like i'm touching you for the first time
and i can't get enough of you

(Sher)
there you are and the feeling's bittersweet
there are things i must tell you but they can wait
we're gonna live forever if we can keep our heads
but the way you're making me feel now inside
makes me wonder if you're not going to kill my heart first
don't make me apologize for what i've done
i'll make any bargains to keep you safe

Part Seven:
(Sher)
what's the greater experiment:
the one done for love or for science?
whose truth shall I accept:
the one I trusted for years
or the one I'm faced with now?
there's a part of me that wants to hide
but my curiosity demands to be satisfied

whose loyalty shall I claim:
the one who made me or the one I love?
what method shall I choose:
the path that leads me to pain
or the one that might bring me salvation?
the questions linger on my troubled mind
but the answers are ones I wished I couldn't find

my spirit soars like an eagle in the sky
i see your face sleeping in troubled dreams
and i scream your name though i know you can't hear
the songs i sing now would break your heart

Part Eight:
(Methos)
the shock has faded, but the hurt remains
i trusted you with all that i am,
believed you knew me better than most
you say you know what our life means
but it sounds like you've only sealed a fate
and i will never be the same for it

though you drag me through your demons
and i find myself oddly content to be in one place
i will love you through this raging storm
in the end you know what will happen
and neither of us will be the same for it

(Sher)
i never lied to you, that much will always be true
but you never asked me for the truth, either
our love rests in a grave marked "yesterday"
you can hate me for anything you like
but i tried to protect what's important
and i will never be the same for it

Home | About Raine | Contact

This is a fan site, and all work here is produced without the intention of profit; all characters not my own are the copyright of their respective holders.