I want to sing a song but I don't know how
to make the words fit a specific rhyme
that crystallizes how I feel
and suddenly it seems as though
the words have been stolen from someone else's lips
and it feels like I've been lip-synching all this time
or maybe I've just been practicing
going through the motions and learning all the steps
so when I sing this time, it'll be all right
and there won't be any sour notes
and nobody will wince in pain or disgust
because it's not my drunken warbling into a microphone
but a true American Idol-winning-moment.
That's when it hits me that maybe that's not what I want
all that makeup and spotlights and exposure and interviews
to see if who I am is really me
and I think (leastways I'm pretty sure
because you always answer yes when I ask)
you already know all that:
my penchant for rambling in my journal
but never over Starbucks coffee
or the way spiders will never freak me out
the way ants will
and how I love you for you
Still I can't help but want to shout out to the world
that my love for you is just like that song -
you know, the one that goes like the tune I can't sing
unless I'm alone in the car and the radio's on -
and maybe if I was a songwriter I could come up
with something more interesting than a single chorus
with a catchy make-you-buy-this-now beat
but
this is what I have instead.
I hope that's good enough.